Song: Man Enough to Cry by Eric Benet

   *Bradycardia = low heart rate

   *Bradypnea = low respiratory rate

   Status Bradysmus = me

This is the medical status I made up  to vaguely describe what I feel right now.

LOW

This has got to be the one of the saddest feelings I've experienced, and I don't know the cause. I've been trying to resolve the root of my depression, pero di ko masagot.

It got to a point na nag mental tally na nga ako ng mga things na I think wrong in my life. As in: check or no check. Wala pa rin.

Parang nawalan na ako ng libido for life, for anything. I feel like I'm just a passenger of a really really fast train, and I can't get out. It's either I can't get out or I don't want to get out. Para kcng I've made my own self-container; all my decisions molding that container into what it is now. It's suffocating and I want out.

Now I'm like : blah. I don't enjoy things I used to enjoy.

I turned into this pessimistic monster that sucks joy.

Why Simon, Why did you get into this relationship again and regret it afterwards? STUPIDO!!!!!

*Random rant: Yung guard ko sa dorm na tibo, ang kapal pa ng mukha! Biruin mo:

Tibong Guard: Bunyi! Nagbayad ka na ba ng kuryente mo?

Me: A, opo. Binigay na po saking nung isang guard kagabi, kaya binayaran ko na sa SM

T.G.: Ah. Sa susunod iwan mo na lang d2 samin ung bill mo ha, kasama na ung pambayad. Kami na magbabayad.

Me : Ows? Wow salamat.

T. G.: Lagyan mo ng pangmeryenda ha! Ganun e!Kami pupunta, so di puedeng walang pangmeryenda.

At take note hindi siya nakiusap, nag-command siya. Para bang wala akong choice. Natatakot naman ako na pag hindi ko siya sinunod, i-regret ko.Powerful pa naman ang guard ng isang building (especially kung tibo).

Imbes na makatipid, na-torture pa ako para magbigay ng meryenda.

I'm thinking of reinventing myself. Hmmm... Zero strings, zero relationships, zero negativity. A new outlook in life naman. Maybe I should ask someone like Odelle for advice, she's the most coherent, sane, hardworking and positive person I know (sorry Dino, you're  a close second though.LOL)

Ewan.Siguro I'll just keep myself busy. Busy busy busy. Then cry at night (crybaby, remember?). Then busy busy busy again.

Whattalife