Song: Man Enough to Cry by Eric Benet

   *Bradycardia = low heart rate

   *Bradypnea = low respiratory rate

   Status Bradysmus = me

This is the medical status I made up  to vaguely describe what I feel right now.

LOW

This has got to be the one of the saddest feelings I've experienced, and I don't know the cause. I've been trying to resolve the root of my depression, pero di ko masagot.

It got to a point na nag mental tally na nga ako ng mga things na I think wrong in my life. As in: check or no check. Wala pa rin.

Parang nawalan na ako ng libido for life, for anything. I feel like I'm just a passenger of a really really fast train, and I can't get out. It's either I can't get out or I don't want to get out. Para kcng I've made my own self-container; all my decisions molding that container into what it is now. It's suffocating and I want out.

Now I'm like : blah. I don't enjoy things I used to enjoy.

I turned into this pessimistic monster that sucks joy.

Why Simon, Why did you get into this relationship again and regret it afterwards? STUPIDO!!!!!

*Random rant: Yung guard ko sa dorm na tibo, ang kapal pa ng mukha! Biruin mo:

Tibong Guard: Bunyi! Nagbayad ka na ba ng kuryente mo?

Me: A, opo. Binigay na po saking nung isang guard kagabi, kaya binayaran ko na sa SM

T.G.: Ah. Sa susunod iwan mo na lang d2 samin ung bill mo ha, kasama na ung pambayad. Kami na magbabayad.

Me : Ows? Wow salamat.

T. G.: Lagyan mo ng pangmeryenda ha! Ganun e!Kami pupunta, so di puedeng walang pangmeryenda.

At take note hindi siya nakiusap, nag-command siya. Para bang wala akong choice. Natatakot naman ako na pag hindi ko siya sinunod, i-regret ko.Powerful pa naman ang guard ng isang building (especially kung tibo).

Imbes na makatipid, na-torture pa ako para magbigay ng meryenda.

I'm thinking of reinventing myself. Hmmm... Zero strings, zero relationships, zero negativity. A new outlook in life naman. Maybe I should ask someone like Odelle for advice, she's the most coherent, sane, hardworking and positive person I know (sorry Dino, you're  a close second though.LOL)

Ewan.Siguro I'll just keep myself busy. Busy busy busy. Then cry at night (crybaby, remember?). Then busy busy busy again.

Whattalife

Song: Maneater by Nelly Furtado

Caution : This post is HATEful

I hate it, Nelly Furtado's gone pop (I just like the title of this song, LOL)

I hate the government for postponing classes last friday, then changing their minds late afternoon. Pauwi na ako nun e!Argh!

I hate my finger. It's disfigured for life

I hate pharma. I failed my short quizzes miserably and I blame my hurting finger. I blame the doctors for giving essay quizzes (I mean, who does that?). I hate myself for not studying hard enough, alas I fail the quizzes.

I hate the weather. Umuulan, pero mainit.Make up your mind sky!!!

I hate this coming week. We have three major exams, a para prax, loads of patho cases, etc.Argh!!!

I hate the surgery dept. They're so lost on schedules and room assignments, they make my job as VP hard.

I hate texting people about class cancellations. Nauubos load ko!

I hate it that I don't know how to do unlimitxt. Malay ko ba? Hassle lang para sakin. Ayun, 300 load ubos in a week.

I hate my body. I'm overweight yet underfed (eating alone in your dorm sucks)

I hate pretentious obnoxious people who stabs you in the back.Kapal! Well actually I pity them for not knowing better.

I hate it, di ko pa napapanood ag Pirates, dead man's chest. Gus2 ko nang mapanood!!!

I hate it that I seem to have so little time left for myself.

I wish someone would come and change my "i hate"s to "i love"

Song: What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts

Dapat, ang song ko ngayon Life is a Highway by R. Flatts din, kaso mas appropriate ata tong kanta na to sa akin ngayon.

It was almost a great week, too bad thursday had to ruin it.

Discretion: The following story is not for the faint-hearted

I watched Superman Returns last thurs.Went home (dorm),about 8 p.m.After forcing myself to read surgery and pharma, which was to no avail, I suddenly felt thirsty. Kumuha ako ng tubig sa ref. E madulas pala ung lalagyan ko ng tubig, it was made of heavy glass. So yun, nadulas.E malapit ako sa wall nung nadulas ung container. Na press ko tuloy ung left hand ko na may hawak hawak na container sa may wall, parang reflex reaction, para hindi mabasag ung container. Ayun. Jackpot.

Mejo nag-panic ako at first kc sobrang dumugo ung index finger ko. 15 mins na, sobrang dugo pa rin. Naisip kong pumuntang hospital, kaso hubad naman ako since patulog na ako nun, pano ako tatakbo ng ust dba? Mini oblation run? I think not.

May dalawa akong sobrang lalim na hiwa sa finger ko. Hindi ko nga magalaw ung finger ko kaya nagpapanic na ako.OMG, I lost a finger! Sa sobrang tense ko nun, sinalpakan ko nalang ng cotton with alcohol, maraming scotch tape, tapos natulog na ako.

Fri morn, woke up with a headache and a really sore index finger. I tried my best to clean up all the mess I created, blood, broken glass, etc. Pinilit kong pumasok, so I took a bath while in agony.

At school, everybody's asking me what happened to my finger, now full of cotton and tape. I can't answer. I'm was either too tired, lazy or afraid to tell the story.Ewan. Lunchtime, dumugo na naman ung finger ko. Pharma lecture, blood oozing out the cotton. I had to do something.

So I went to the Student Health Service. 30 mins lang dapat, kc may quiz kmi sa pharma.Pagdating ko, sabi agad nung nurse kelangan tahiin ung dalawang sugat ko. Great.

So ayun, tinahi nung attending doctor  na nagtuturo pala ng surgery II sa 3rd year. Alam ko kc pinagtatanong nya ako kung magaling daw ba ung current teacher ko sa surgery ngayon, since alam nyang 2nd year med ako.Sheesh.

9 stiches. 4 sa isang sugat, 5 sa isa. Wala naman daw nasirang nerve, kaya magagamit ko pa ung finger ko. Ang sakit lang nung pagturok sa aking ng anesthesia, lignocaine ata, pati sa ilalim ng kuko ko tinurukan. Major ouch.

After kong tahiin, takbo agad ako sa med bldg., only to find out na SGD pala muna at hindi quiz. Asar, e nag wear-off na ung anesthesia, sobrang sumakit na ung finger ko. I was squirming during the whole SGD period.

Tapos sa quiz, nakalimutan ko lahat nang inaral ko kc inaalala ko ung sobrang sakit ko na finger, kaya ayun, sure na bagsak.

Now I'm taking antibiotics and Ponstan. Plus taking a bath is still a major chore, since I can't wet my finger.Even typing on my blog is a hassle.

All this dahil lang sa nauhaw ako nung Thursday night.

Huhuhu :(

Song: Walang Hanggang Paalam by Joey Ayala

Yay! Arge's Surprise Bday Party! Masaya at maraming food. Siempre the best food was our food, Goldilocks puto. LOL

Uneventful week. Puro quiz as usual. What I really hate is that most of our quizzes are of the essay type, especially Pharma :(

Nakakabore talaga sa dorm. May tv nga, wala naman cable , cguro next week pag may pera na ako. Illegal na nga ung cable sa building namin, mahal pa ang bayad! Maparaan talaga ang landlord para kumita.

May balak kmi ni Maebs mag- Elorde boxing gym. May bago kcng bukas malapit sa Uste.Gus2 kc ni maebs mag ala-Juday e, sasamahan ko lang sya. ROTFL. 300 lang annual fee, 150 per hour session with trainer. Another reason to be thrifty.Let's see.Balita ko masarap daw mag boxing.There's nothing wrong in trying. Makapagtanong nga ng gloves at benda

Tuwing weekends nalang ako nakakapag-pc.Nakakatamad kc bumaba at lumabas para lang mag-renta ng pc.Itutulog ko na lang ung oras ko.

I got sick yesterday.Even today I feel a little under the weather.Maybe I'm just getting the blues...

Song: Stars are Blind by Paris Hilton

   I've been hearing this song for the past week on a daily basis,like 4-5x a day. It's haunting!Hehe

   So the 2nd year starts.Nakakapagod mag-volunteer as tour d' med guide. Buti na lang Cricket joined my team, so may ka-kulitan ako. We ate lunch, 230 pm na.Whew!I can tell that freshies are excited bout med. Good for them I guess.

   Wala pang classes, puro orientation. Boring. Sa Surgery& Anes lang ata ako na-excite ng onti, kc siempre we'll learn minor surgeries, scrubbing, etc. Pharma dept. seems as dull as the subject.Sheesh. Medicine will be about patients, wards, etc.Patho, microbio, etc....who knows?

   Bash to self: Ba't ba hindi ako nag Bio 173 sa UP?! Malay ko ba na may parasitology sa med.Asaaaar!

   First two nights and three days sa dorm; three words: Me, Myself & I (or four words kung kasama ung &, hehe). Di ko pa nadadala ung tv, kaya puro radyo lang, thus the paris hilton song syndrome.

   Kelangan ko raw bumili nga scrub suit, opthalmoscope at otoscope, since mag-wawards na kami. Eh kaso 10,500 daw un sabi ni Chen.

      .....Palimos po

   COSPLAY NEWS: Went to the toy con last night at megatrade B. Jam-packed, grabe. Performers included akafellas, rock bands, etc. Aaron finally is an official cosplayer. Hehe. Lord Braska of FF X.Cool.Cosplayers were really diverse: from Spiderman and Hellboy, Naruto sexy no jutsu, Chobits, Julia Chang, RO chars.,to the main characters of Jewel in the Palace and Panday! (laugh then vomit). Kapagod kc there was like 170 cosplayers, at nagstart na ung catwalk ng 640 pm! Pero it was fun. :)

   After this weekend, hello real world.   

I have to type this one now.

Just watched it. I actually heard that the movie is terrible, so when I had the chance to watch it my expectations were low.

It is a bit disappointing. I dunno.Hanks and Tautou definitely lacks chemistry.
The pace was slow.  There were very few exciting scenes in the movie.

Hanks as Robert Langdon didn't work for me. He looks stiff. Too stiff. In the book, Langdon actually made some smart remarks and jokes, even under pressure. He should seem a little more warm.In the movie, he looks dead. And I'm a Tom Hanks fan mind you.

Tautou was at first ok, but like Hanks lacked a little warmth. They definitely lacked chemistry. What a shame.

Paul Bettany as Silas was great though. Also Ian McKellen as Leigh Teabing. Even the guy as Farche (forgot the name).

Cinematography was good.

It seems that Ron Howard focused more on the explaining of the code and Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and less on the more exciting parts of the movie, like breaking the cryptex code, the chase, etc. Thus the movie seems more like a lecture. Dull. A bit dark really.

Book fans would notice some changes on the story, like Robert and Sophie didn't even kiss at the end! Like there were no romantic linkage between them. In the book, I think they had sex.

At the end, Sophie's brother wasn't introduced nor mentioned at the Rosalind chapel, just the grandmother. He was just seen as the guy who leads them in the chapel (I presume).

Robert tells Sophie that Jacques Sauniere is not her real grandpa, cuz her real surname is St. Claire, descendant of Jesus. In the book, I think I remember that Sauniere was her real grandpa, and that when her parents were killed (not by a car crash as she was told), her gandparents decided to split up the two kids, and go separate ways to preserve the bloodline should something happen to anyone of them. Tama ba?

Anyways, it wasn't so bad. It was very faithful to the book, very few additions.Fun factor deleted, sadly.

The book was really hard to put down, the movie was easy to walk away from.

But you should still watch it, you know just to form your own opinion.